Difficult Day (Feels)

"heliochrome85" (heliochrome85) 01/20/2015 at 22:45 • Filed to: None

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Despite having gone to medical school and having been a physician for a few years, I still occasionally have difficult days. Today was one of them. After having two lengthy meetings and working 12 hours, I got asked to accompany a close friend of mine to the hospital where one of our mutual friends is dying of metastatic cancer at 28. I wish I could do something to change the situation, but I can't and the weight of today is near crushing. I'd like to think I made even the smallest bit of difference. We can't win them all, but all we can do is try. I tried today.

Xyl0c41n3 > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 22:47

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Helio, I am so sorry. I'm sorry for your friend, and I'm sorry for the grief you're going through. You don't need to be strong right now. It's ok. And I'm sure your friendship has made a difference. My thoughts for peace and comfort are with you right now.

BJ > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:12

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Jeezus, that's tough.

I don't really have any advice for coping, except for this: Remember to take care of yourself, too. Eat well, exercise, and get plenty of sleep. Dealing with these difficult situations in life is always easier when you yourself are well and rested.

[ Source ]

desertdog5051 > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:26

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My heart goes out to you. As we all age, we see these things, and the reality of life sets in. Stay yourself and resolve to make the best of it and strive to make the world better for humanity.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:32

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The snarky response would have me comment about if you were Dr. House you'd be able to toss that ball at the wall, insult your team, and find some inane cure.

However, that's not really appropriate.

That's heavy stuff.

I don't really have any words. :'(

E92M3 > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:33

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Sorry to hear that man. That's way too young to go out like that. We need to find a way to detect cancer before symptoms start. Once they start it's often too late to stop it. I know X-rays and scans have their own risks to just be doing them annually as a precaution. I did see a dog on TV that was trained to smell cancerous cells in people. Not just skin cancer either, the cells could be inches inside the body (on an organ) and the dog could still smell them. Seems like a safe way to screen people periodically with no risks, and then advanced diagnosis could be done if something was detected.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:34

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Wow, that is some rough stuff. I know there is absolutely nothing I can say here that will remedy the situation or be particularly helpful even, but I am confident that you did your part as a medical professional, and more importantly as a friend too this person. They no doubt know this, and I hope you do too.

I feel like I just lectured a doctor, as a high-schooler. It feels kinda wrong. Sorry.

TheHondaBro > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:44

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I'm terribly sorry to hear that. I can't possibly imagine what you're going through right now.

Here are a few 2002 Turbos for you.

Justin Hughes > heliochrome85 01/20/2015 at 23:47

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If you didn't feel this way about it, you wouldn't be a decent person, or a decent doctor. You can't win them all, and it sucks. You just try to win as many as you can. It hurts even more when it's personal, and it's OK to feel that.

NotUnlessRoundIsFunny > heliochrome85 01/21/2015 at 03:28

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Very sorry for your friend, and for the feelings you're having as well. It's so hard to know what to say or do in these situations (and I suspect more so for you as a doctor) but just by being there, being present, and being thoughtful you were providing support.

Much better than flowers and a few clichés imho.

MINISQL > heliochrome85 01/21/2015 at 05:04

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I lost my mother to a subcutaneous hemorrhage earlier this year. She had fallen and hit her head and the resulting hemorrhage caused her to lose the ability to swallow. It was painful to watch her wither away over the next three weeks, with no medical recourse. But I had to put that pain aside, because it wasn't about me, it was about her. It was important, more than that, it was the only thing, to be there with her and let her know she was loved and cared for. Early one rainy morning I received a call from the hospice that her time was near and I drove with dread and sorrow in my heart, wondering how I would handle this. She loved hymns, so when I got to her room I leaned over and put my arm around her and softly sang "How Great Thou Art". As the last verse ended she stopped breathing, and it was over. Now, a year later, I take great comfort from knowing that I was there with her, that she did not die alone, and that she knew she was loved and cherished. That is the most that any of us can do, to let them know that we care and be there with them. As a doctor, you have a great gift, to fight disease and injury, but these talents would mean nothing without a heart. Draw from this experience, let your friend know that her struggle will make you a better doctor, that her life, though short, has made a difference in you that will carry through to all your patients. I wish you and your friend peace and comfort and strength. God be with you.

thebigbossyboss > heliochrome85 01/21/2015 at 07:53

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I am sorry to hear that man. There's nothing I can say or do that will take away the pain, so in the meantime, don't be too hard on yourself, and don't hit the bottle to cope too hard.

I hope this picture helps just a little.

If there's one thing I do know, it's I certainly remembered when people visited me in the house when I was recovering from surgery, and based on this I know you made your friend feel better.

thebigbossyboss > MINISQL 01/21/2015 at 07:57

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Put far better than I could even ever attempt (see my comment above that was not near as eloquent).

Sorry about your mother, glad you were able to provide support in the end. Living very very far from all relations this is one fear I have, that I won't be able to do anything when the time comes.